Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
