I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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