Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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