my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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