Whod you bang
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
