Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
