how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
