Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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