It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize