Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
