I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
