You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize