So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
After tacos, we're chasing women.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize