I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
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