Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
