A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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