Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
