____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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