we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
