'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
