HIV tests are more positive than that guy
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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