Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize