You made me cry and you don't even care
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
She's better-looking with the mask on.