Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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