he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Randomize
