you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
