The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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