oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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