Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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