toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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