Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As shirtless as possible
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
