You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I think your dad took our porno
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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