He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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