i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize