Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
