omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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