I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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