I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
