Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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