I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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