You just made me feel so damn special
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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