Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
