He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
