Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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