Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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