Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
