i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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