NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
