I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
