Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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