I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I smell stomach acid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Randomize
