Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
