she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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