im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
