I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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