Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Every concussion has its silver lining
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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